In the previous blog post, we talked about identifying and noticing this ‘stuck’ feeling in our body, and explored the inner working system. At this point we might know where the feeling comes from, and we can start to apply some strategies like self-compassion and/or mindfulness to see if they help us get un-stuck. In part two of this blog post, I will walk you through goal setting and vision creation, as well as why and how seeking support might be a good resource for you.
Set Goals and Creating a Vision:
Set small, achievable stepping stone goals: break down your larger aspirations or expectations into smaller, manageable and concrete steps. By setting achievable goals, you create a sense of accomplishment and progress, which can be incredibly motivating. This can help show your stuckness part that you are here and in the lead - and that while it may be present, you are still able to accomplish a task and be ok in the here and now.
Create a vision board or use sticky pads to visualize and write out your goals and dreams. This can be a powerful tool for motivation. Consider creating a vision board filled with images and words that represent the life you want to lead, and the beliefs that you want to have about yourself today. Place it where you can see it daily.
Seek Support:
Talk to a therapist or join a support group: if you find it challenging to navigate your feelings of being stuck on your own, do not hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can provide guidance and strategies tailored to your specific situation and needs.
Connect with supportive people, friends and or family: sharing your feelings with trusted people is quite powerful. Sometimes, naming your challenges with other people offers the message that you are not alone, that others feel similarly to you and that you are heard and are being witnessed and can bear witness to others.
Embrace Change….As hard as this may be:
Growth often occurs when we push ourselves beyond our comfort zones. Try new experiences, learn and then practice new skills, or explore unfamiliar territories. A quote I use regularly is the following: “The process of change begins when the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same” – Anonymous.
Embrace bumbling, falling, stumbling and resistance and see these all as opportunities to learn from, to grow from, and to discover the power of attunement and embracing self-leadership. Understand that setbacks and lapses are a natural part of the life cycle. Instead of fearing them, resulting in keeping us stuck in place, view obstacles and challenges as guides and opportunities to learn, re-adjust and retrain our brain, and grow stronger.
Conclusion:
Feeling stuck in life is a universal experience, but it does not have to define your identity and journey. By acknowledging your emotions, tuning into your body sensations and thoughts that are protecting you from getting unstuck, through practicing self-compassion, setting concrete step by step goals, and seeking support, you can gradually break free from the cycle of stuckness that holds you back. Remember that personal growth, clarity, and connection often arise from these challenging and downright painful experiences. Embrace the opportunity for self-discovery, and you may find yourself on a path you never even imagined—one filled with meaning, intentions and harmony.
Warmly,
Ashley Miller
See Part 1 On Being Stuck at https://www.healingspacetherapy.ca/post/on-being-stuck-part-1
Resources
Fisher, J. (2017) Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation. New York, NY: Routledge
Rebecca’s Bird Gardens Blog (2016). http://rebeccasbirdgardensblog.blogs.com/2016/01/diy-wine-bottle-bird-feeders-detailed.html?m=1
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
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